My sweet child,
You are growing up way too fast, everyone tells a new parent that it's going to happen. But you don't really understand until you've lived it. Today is your THIRD birthday and I really do not know how the time has flown by. I will never forget the day you were born. Everything about the day is a miracle. YOU are a miracle. God forever changed our lives when you entered this world at 2:39 pm, weighing a tiny 3 pounds, 11 ounces. We wanted to be surprised and not find out before if you were a boy or a girl, and we were surprised in more ways than one that day. See, every person is a miracle, the pregnancy, the birth process, delivery, everything about the way our bodies work….. MIRACLE! (FYI: your actual due date was January 19, 2011.)
Sweet girl, first and for most, I want you to know that you are LOVED. Not only by mom and dad, and all those around you, but most importantly by Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for YOU. He came to give us salvation and to teach us how to live. If nothing else, please know just how much you are loved at all times. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less…. EVER! And since mom and dad are not perfect, we will disappoint you at times, but know through it all, we will still LOVE you. No matter what. You are a loved child of the King!
God has big plans for you, never forget that! Remember Psalm 139:13, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." He knows you inside out, like not even your father and I do. Our creator made you, he knows the number of your days and even (this has always amazed me!) exactly how many hairs are your head. There is nothing too big or too small for Him.
You are here for a purpose and reason. My favorite verse of all time is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope a future." We are all still finding our purpose daily, it's not an easy task. But I know you will search in Him and you will find it. You will do great things, you will change lives, I know this because you are already so kind and caring of others. Live into all the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, Galatians 5:22) and you will be blessed and bless those around you.
Speaking of being blessed. You are blessed, we are all blessed. Being blessed doesn't mean having the most, getting what we want all the time, or being perfect. To me, being blessed means that God is with you. Times will be hard, you will struggle, life won't look perfect to you, as you had planned. But you are blessed and it is how God planned…. always. To go along with blessings, before you were even born, we knew we wanted to make each birthday special. We knew we wanted to give out of our abundance and we want to teach you that as you grow up. We heard of others asking for pet food to give to animal shelters for their birthdays, or for old shoes or canned goods for the needy. And those are great. But we had no idea how it would relate personally to you or to our family.
Then bam… you were born before Christmas, which no one expected, and then your first cousin, Baker, was born February 5, 2011, (also 6 weeks early). I pray you know the story of sweet Baker's short life. Because oh, how he touched mine. There were plenty of nights I rocked you all night -my healthy two month old- in your nursery and wept tears over what Bubby and Abby were going through. I didn't feel blessed, I didn't feel loved, and it didn't feel fair. I prayed so hard for a lot of things those long night. But I prayed for you always, I prayed for you to stay healthy, that you would grow and mature in the Lord, that you would be able to make a difference in babies lives somehow. That one day, a baby like Baker may be born early and with difficulties, but that he may live. Whatever you do with your life, I know you will influence others and touch those around you.
I thought your time in the NICU was unfair, I thought our family was broken to have you -a tiny baby- away from us. That first Christmas you weren't home with us, was the most pain I'd ever felt. It was literally the hardest thing I'd ever had to do at that point. But those nurses and doctors took the best care of you, and taught me how to be a mama, it was the best possible experience in the NICU we could have had. And then my eyes were opened in February when Baker was born and a few days later, rushed to Blair E. Batson hospital for children, right here in Jackson. It is huge, there were too many babies to count just in the NICU and the PICU filled with all sorts of children. I learned and saw heartbreaking things about babies I never wanted to know. I learned some of them would never go home, some of them were abandoned by their parents, some parents cared but simply lived too far away to visit daily, the list goes on and on.
I was broken. Broken for Baker, for my Bubby, for Abby, for my parents, and for those babies I saw daily. Once Baker got to go home from the NICU and he was readmitted to the hospital, he was placed in the PICU and eventually put on the palliative care floor. That's when I fell in love with that hospital. Those were the most caring individuals I'd ever met. They do so much for those children and the families, it was unbelievable. And they are the ones there, day in and day out, through all of it. And some of those hospital workers were the only people some patients saw. Even though my family didn't leave that hospital in a joyful way that long April night, I can now tell you that I love that hospital. We are lucky to have them here in Jackson, they do so much good for the children and are making leaps and bounds in the medical world.
I was broken. Broken for Baker, for my Bubby, for Abby, for my parents, and for those babies I saw daily. Once Baker got to go home from the NICU and he was readmitted to the hospital, he was placed in the PICU and eventually put on the palliative care floor. That's when I fell in love with that hospital. Those were the most caring individuals I'd ever met. They do so much for those children and the families, it was unbelievable. And they are the ones there, day in and day out, through all of it. And some of those hospital workers were the only people some patients saw. Even though my family didn't leave that hospital in a joyful way that long April night, I can now tell you that I love that hospital. We are lucky to have them here in Jackson, they do so much good for the children and are making leaps and bounds in the medical world.
By the time I brought it together, it was your 2nd birthday and I knew how we would bless others through your birthday. I wanted to give back to Batson. Those sick children break my heart. And I found out that UMC has a toy drive each year for Christmas. Because just as you were in the hospital one Christmas, so are other children. It is hard. Some of them are dying, some of them do not have family, some of them may be in remission and still getting treatment. But regardless, we want to bless them. They may have a wealthy family with 1,000 toys at home, or no family and no toys at all; but it is my prayer that the one toy they get from us will make them smile.
We prayed over these toys and pray to bless them and their families. I pray they will know love through the toys and know just how much Jesus loves each and every one of them. See, birthdays are not always about getting things, honey, we get things all year round. I believe your birthday fell in the month of giving and Christmas season, so that we can use that to bless others and teach you to give. It is far better to give, than receive. And if one day, you have a charity of your choice that is different, I will support you. But I love that Baker's memory lives on and we bless those other children at Batson every year.
We prayed over these toys and pray to bless them and their families. I pray they will know love through the toys and know just how much Jesus loves each and every one of them. See, birthdays are not always about getting things, honey, we get things all year round. I believe your birthday fell in the month of giving and Christmas season, so that we can use that to bless others and teach you to give. It is far better to give, than receive. And if one day, you have a charity of your choice that is different, I will support you. But I love that Baker's memory lives on and we bless those other children at Batson every year.
It was so hard to explain giving to you this year, an energetic 3 year old. There were so many toys at our house after your party, and even though we had been talking about giving to the hospital for months, you still wanted them all. But after we talked about it again, you finally said, "OK mama, I will take toys to the kids and I will pray for them." That's all we want sweet girl, just a little understanding and hopefully that understanding will mature every year.
You have brought such great joy into my life, and filled a hole that I never knew was there. Your daddy and I love you so much, but more importantly, Jesus loves you sweet girl.
YOU ARE LOVED,
Mom (as you so affectionately call me now :)
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| Your birthday, December 10, 2010 |
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| Your 1st birthday, December 10, 2011 |
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| Your 2nd birthday, December 10, 2012 |
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| Your 3rd birthday, December 10, 2013 |
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| Daddy feeding you in the NICU while I was still recovering. |
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| Your incubator, some days we weren't allowed to open and get you out so you could grow! |
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| This tiny bottle |
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| Our first family of 3 photo |
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| The cute stork our church placed in front of our house. |
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| Your newborn pictures |
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| Your coming home day, December 27, 2010 |
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| Your birth announcement |
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| The day Baker was able to come home and we piled you in the bed with him, you look so big, although you were still tiny! |
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| Baker's baptism |
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| We asked for books for your 2nd birthday, we only had a family birthday and still got over 50 books! |
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| And your friends and family came through this year for your 3rd birthday! Look at all the toys for the children, wow! I am amazed! |
